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Banned Books Week

September 26th, 2021 · No Comments · Banned Book Week, Books, City Library, Main Branch, West Branch

September 26 through October 2 marks Banned Books Week, a week when we learn the importance of not banning books from libraries by seeing all the ridiculous reasons titles have been challenged at libraries around the country. This year, I thought we could try something a little different. To show how absurd it is to ban a book based on one person’s or group’s feelings, I wanted to create a list of books I would ban from this library if I could.

For starters, I hate math. I have always had trouble with numbers and grew to hate the subject at an early age. Therefore, I’d ban math books. Seems counterproductive, right? Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to read some of the books in our collection to help me with math? Nope. I’d ban them because I don’t like the subject.

Secondly, I am terrified of spiders and don’t want to see one in this library – even if it’s just in a book. All books with spiders – yup, that includes “Charlotte’s Web”— would be on my ban list.

I had to read “The Scarlett Letter” in school and hated it, so it’s on my ban list. I didn’t like the way “A City Bakers Guide to Country Living” ended, so it’s on my list too (I liked the rest of the book though). “The Sense of an Ending” had just that – a sense of an ending, a disappointing and underwhelming ending, so I’d ban that too. Book one of the Department Q series was too dark for me, so I’d add that to my list. The rest of that series is probably also pretty dark, so why not ban it too – just in case?

Before anyone takes this too seriously, this is satire. None of these books are actually going to be banned from the library, but you get the point.


Your local dyscalculic arachnophobe


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